Matthew 14

²²Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. ²³After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, ²⁴and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.

²⁵Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. ²⁶When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.

²⁷But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."

²⁸"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."

²⁹"Come," he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. ³⁰But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"

³¹Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"

³²And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."

You of little faith...

I take comfort in the account of Peter sinking in the water and reaching out for Jesus to save him. Beyond the obvious lesson that we need Jesus to save us, I find myself feeling relieved that even the Apostles, the men who were with the living son of God every day... still experienced doubt.

These were the men who were closest to Jesus. They walked with him every day. They ate their meals with him. He spoke with them, and taught them, and answered their questions. They saw him to miraculous things time and again. And still... "why did you doubt?"

Two thousand years later, I have doubts. My faith is weak. I sink into the water and need Jesus to reach out his hand to catch me. But I know his apostles, who were right there with him, were just as weak as me and still he loved them and sent them out to tell the world about him, and his teachings, and his Father. So I know that even when I doubt, it's okay. All I have to do is ask and he'll be there for me too.

When I was a kid...

When I was a kid, I had this vague image of twelve old guys who followed Jesus around. They were all very serious and very holy. They were unrelatable.

I didn't really read the Bible back then.

As an adult, I love the apostles. I love that they were so human. Thomas doubted. Peter denied him. None of them believed, after he was crucified, that he was going to return as he'd told them. Again, these were his close companions for years.

To me, now, the apostles are so relatable. They had flaws. They had doubts. They had ambitions to be his favorite. They were just as messed up as me, but they finally got the message. Jesus never gave up on them.

I know that he won't ever give up on me.

Public domain image: "Peter Tries to Walk on Water" by Francois Boucher